Why does grieving take so long

He will always be in my heart. Our vows to eachother will live forever. Keep on keeping on. It will. Nothing you can do about it. In the meantime, viit her as much as you ca and hd her hand. I lost my husband to cancer Maria, I also lost my husband in June I am a mess! I lost my husband to cancer too. The grief is horrible. I lost my husband of 47 years in June. It was a sudden death which we never knew was coming. My husband was a strong force, my rock, and my soulmate.

I am just lost without him. Every single day something goes wrong and I turn to him for help but he is no longer here. That is the hardest part for me. He has end stage 4 cirrhosis secondary to nash. I cry all the time he needs a living donor. She died December We were best friends. Until we meet again someday…. I lost my husband in late August this year I understand your feelings because he was my best friend, soul mate and the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.

It is an extreme pain that I carry around with me all the time. I am definitely looking forward to when I have more good days than bad. I lost my soulmate dec 12 though its going on 10 months its seems like this very moment,we were married 59 yrs i was with him since I was 17,I,m lost, we did everything together,and covid we ate in our truck,we enjoyed each other,s company it was a good time in our life,now I feel alone even though I,m with my family,I cry all the time I miss him so much,but I see I,m not alone this is a very sad time.

I lost my spouse of 34 years 3 months ago. It was sudden for me. We had plans, like outting and doing activities. One day we were talking. The next i was not able to talk to him again. And watched him fade away in 3 days. I cry as i type this, i miss him so much. I am able to watch things on tv we used to watch or listen to music we shared. But its never without tears. Everyone says i am doing well, but really they dont see the tears.

I cry everyday several times aday. I talk to him hoping he is listening. I want to enjoy life again. But all my good memories are with him.

How do i move on. Vicki R I ask the same questions. Crying now and most nights, like you we had plans then she was gone forever! I grieve whenever I see something we got together.

A year now and still just as bad. Friends say it because we loved so much, true but at night, shower, see something, etc and grief hurt soo soo much. She was my rock and I hers.

Yes yes I know about the missing too. I share your hurt and grief. Thank you for this writing. I lost my husband to Covid, that destroyer, 6 weeks ago. It hurts so much, and I do not feel like the same person.

I am lost. But, I felt better reading your comments. The memory of watching him stop breathing and seeing his face turn white just break my heart. I wish I could forget the pain this causes me. He and I were married 52 years. How do you live without your spouse? I am just surviving. Yes you feel like you are just surviving, I feel like a zombie like an empty shell.

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, or thinking about hurting yourself or others, please seek immediate help. Call , go to your closest emergency room, or call the National Suicide Hotline at This national network of local crisis centers provides free support, and someone is always available to talk.

Remember, life can get better with the right help. I lost my husband of 33 yrs in jan He died during an ugly fight with our son. We had a dysfunctional family. The fights of last two years have made me not remember any good time we had. He had stopped communicating from last two years.

I wanted the marriage to last and he passed away suddenly. I had no life other than he. Devastated plz share some thoughts. So sorry to read your comment about having suicidal thoughts. She passed away 11 days after being diagnosed with colorectal cancer. Just imagine how devastating that was to not only myself, but also our only son whom she adored.

I questioned my purpose now that the love of my life is gone. One important message I received from my wife on her sick bed was to take it day by day. She was one amazing woman who remained strong to the very end and I will honour and cherish the life I had with her. We will see our loved ones again someday. Hang in there my dear, you owe it to your husband.

All the very best. Me too, but I keep thinking, what if we go to different places. That alone keeps me from doing it. I hope you find what brings you peace. Hey I know the feeling my husband of 23 died on may 18, I feel so bad every day I wanted to die to I feel like my world is over this is the worst pain ever and he died of heart failure like his mom. My grief has made me feel that I want to go and join my loved one. But suicide is no solution because it is not good to die in such a state, it is better to die with some degree of peace in your soul so that you can pass peacefully into the next place.

Some religions teach that suicide could send you to a bad place, and then you might never be with your loved one again. All I have found that helps my grief, is believing that my loved one is in a good place, is with God, and that God will help and comfort me. Unfortunately going to the emergency room might just get you put in a mental facility, which would be horrible, and talking to strangers on a hotline may do it for some people, but talking to people who care about me works better for me.

My husband of 48 years passed away 2 years ago and I think of him every day. I miss him so much. I lost my husband March of unexpectedly due to auto accident. We were 4 mo the shy of 19 yrs. Literally 3 very close friends have been our saviors. Problem is I am still struggling extremely hard over my husband.

I lost the love of my life almost 2 weeks ago. We knew each other for 8 years and were living together as a couple for the last 2. He was my best friend in the world and my soulmate. I really wish we had had more time together. We were supposed to grow old together. He was my person and all I ever wanted. I know this is no comparison for those who were with their S. It just hurts so bad all I want is to join him.

But, I know he would want me to live a full and happy life. I know exactly how you feel I lost my beautiful partner after 27 years April and I do not know how to get over her.

I am Ashwin staying in suburb of Mumbai , Maharashtra , India. I am 73 now and physically challenged by birth. My wife passed away on 15th May due to metastatic breast cancer after 45 years of happy marriage. Since last 5 months I and my son are feeling depressed , lonliness,no work , no income.

I am also receiving horrified though5s of Suicide as did not find way out. Kindly share and suggest as how to control mind and come out of this trauma to live rest of life peacefully. I was married 34 years to my husband.

He passed 3 months ago. No one can tell you how to feel or for how long. Unless they alked in up your shoes and are you. I am widowed now, but i dont see taking my ring off. If its tomorrow, it is, if its never. Then so be it.

Its just easier to deal with the further away it gets. What helps me is telling goofy stories of him to love ones who knew he was goofy. And remember that when you feel low, would your loved one want you there, probably not. In I lost my grandma when I was 13 years old.

Grief never truly goes away because we still love the person we have lost no matter how much time has passed. I guess in a way, even though it hurts in an unimaginable way, it shows how powerful and pure the love is that we had and still have for those we have lost. I really need a cuddle from granny right now?

I lost my grandma today and I was her favourite and the closest to her, I am 14 years old and cannot handle the loss but i want to be left alone to greive but no one understands that, fly high grams i will always miss you. I always cry a few days before an are so emotional how will I ever overcome this and this happened in Hi i can so connect with what you are saying i lost my husband after 45 years in he was 62 we have been together since school days i finished counselling 4 weeks ago but like you all seems to be flooding back i dont think i will ever be the same again.

I lost my husband of 39 years in February. I totally agree with you Sharon, I will never be the same again He was 65 and the lovliest man who was so ill for 7 months before he died. I think of him all the time.

Oh my gosh, this is my life. I cry all the time. When will it get easier? Pain is endless, I can feel it as I lost my Wife in I lost my husband to Covid On Easter Sunday, April 12, I never got to say goodbye or be with him It was so horrible for me And my young adult kids I am so lost and I just try to be grateful for the thirty years we had I ask God to give me courage To move forward I feel all of your pain and understand what you are going through I prayed so hard for my husband to recover but God had other plans I can only take it one day at a time Losing my wonderful beautiful kindhearted and devoted husband And father to Covid breaks my heart Please let me know if anyone out there lost someone to Covid Too This type of loss is most painful!!

I w pray for all of you who commented. No, it will not get easier. I lost my husband 2 and a half years ago, exactly 2 weeks before Christmas, a sudden massive heart attack. I am nothing without him, I cry all day every day, I miss him so bad it physically hurts. Linda, I am with you with the same feelings, I can barely type this, lost my wife suddenly last month. I have older children to live for. I would like to help, you are still the same person that you were before you met, I have to remind myself of this fact constantly.

Oh Linda I so want to say the right. People grieve for many different reasons, including:. You can experience grief if you or a loved one are diagnosed with a major disease or face a serious illness. You may grieve the future plans you had made, or the ways life will change.

Grief is sometimes described as a process of 5 stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. All of these reactions to loss are normal. However, not everyone who is grieving experiences all of these reactions, and not everyone experiences them in the same order. It is common to cycle back through some of these reactions, stages, and symptoms more than once. Everyone is different. Give yourself time to experience your loss in your own way. At the same time, remember to take care of yourself.

There is no set timetable for grief. You may start to feel better in 6 to 8 weeks, but the whole process can last anywhere from 6 months to 4 years. You may start to feel better in small ways. During this time, it may feel like you go through a series of ups and downs.

You may feel better one day, but worse the next. This is normal. Sometimes the feelings last longer, or you may have trouble dealing with your emotions. When this happens, grief can turn into depression. The symptoms of grief and depression are similar. The experience of grief section includes ideas on how to help yourself through these times.

Rather, the stages reflect a range of emotions that you may move between. For most people, grief involves ups and downs. They may move between focusing on the loss crying, missing the person, feeling pain and going forward returning to activities, learning new skills, forming new relationships. This can feel chaotic but both the ups and downs are part of grief.

Most people find they slowly learn to cope better with their loss. It is common to have feelings of intense grief again and again.

The experience is often described as like being on a roller-coaster, but it can also be thought of as a series of cycles or waves.

After a while, the grief usually becomes less overwhelming; they find that they start to enjoy things and feel enthusiastic about life again. You may find that doing something special to remember the person helps you cope with the loss.

Here are some ideas that other people have found helpful. Be kind to yourself — it is normal that some days are much harder than others. After a few weeks, you will usually start to notice a pattern of good days and bad days, with the good days gradually increasing. Or worse, they may begin to feel suicidal, as though not going on is a real option. If this is the case for you or someone you care about, it is important to seek help. You may need to seek professional help if you experience these situations:.

There is no need to face this experience alone. Find out about the options for professional support and talk to your doctor, or call Cancer Council 13 11 If you are having harmful or suicidal thoughts, call Lifeline 13 11 14 immediately. The service operates 24 hours a day. Call or email our experienced cancer nurses for information and support. Contact a cancer nurse. Cancer Council Victoria would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.

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Clinical practice guides. Resources for dietitians. Culturally diverse communities. Our Melbourne-based retail shop is now permanently closed. To purchase our products, visit www. Resources in other languages. Home Managing daily life Grief. Grief Contents: Overview The experience of grief How long will it last? How to help someone who is grieving Seeking support. After the funeral The period after the funeral can be challenging.

Ways to remember You may find that doing something special to remember the person helps you cope with the loss. Plant a tree or or flowerbed. Put a memorial plaque in a place that mattered to the person or in your garden. Create an artwork in their memory. Yse some of their clothing to create a quilt, cushion covers or memory bear. Make a memory box filled with keepsakes such as photos; a favourite item of clothing, such as a cap or scarf; a bottle of perfume or aftershave; letters or cards; a special recipe; and a list of shared memories.

Frame a photo of the person and display it. Share memories by setting up an online memorial page. Establish an award or scholarship in memory of the person. Make a donation to charity in their name.

Create special rituals such as lighting a candle, listening to special music or visiting a certain place. Rituals can be particularly helpful at challenging times such as anniversaries. Be prepared for birthdays, anniversaries and holidays by planning how you want to handle the events. Get involved in a cause that was special to the person. Many people have found an energy in their grief that motivates them to make a difference. Talk about the person who has died.

You may feel uncomfortable at first but sharing your memories with other people can help you cope. Remember goals you shared and consider if you want to continue working towards them. You may need to seek professional help if you experience these situations: find it difficult to function on a daily basis begin to rely on alcohol or drugs stop eating regularly are sleeping too much or having a lot of trouble sleeping are worried you might hurt someone because your feeling of anger or aggression do not settle are thinking about self-harm or taking your own life.

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Familial breast cancer. Familial ovarian cancer. Familial melanoma. Family history of cancer. Find out the ways we can help. Skip to content Close Search Your search term. Home » Understanding grief » « Effects of grief » How long does grief last? How long does grief last? The early stages In the early stages after a bereavement, you might feel numb or nothing at all.